Like a previous post where I contrasted kindness and niceness, strength and vulnerability seem to be characteristics cut from the same cloth even though at first glance they appear in opposition. Aren't they total opposites? Light and dark? Princes and frogs? Hot and cold? Isn't strength - whatever variety in comes in, emotional, financial, spiritual or otherwise - preferable to "wimpy" vulnerability? To be vulnerable is to be weak, and that's bad, right? RIGHT?
A few weeks ago especially I was thinking about strength and what it means to be a truly strong person - it's not something I ever consciously made an effort to think about, so it was interesting what I came to realize after searching around a little bit.
When I think of the word "strong", I think immediately of Schwartzenegger-level biceps. Power suits adorned with Armani ties in a paneled board room. Sawyer from LOST holding a gun at an Other with a dagger-filled glare. A gladiator. Muhammed Ali boxing and boasting. (Thanks NW). Power tools. Rocks and boulders. The first thing I think of when I think of strength is brute force.
But force can't be true strength, because when I think about it more, what comes to mind when I think of strength? The more I think about it, I think about AZ's faith and how she shares it with me in addition to living it in her daily life. I think of my mom smiling as she put her wig on because she was bald from the cancer. I think of my dad going to work every day to provide us with the life we lead. I see strength in a friend who's willing to talk it out with me when I'm a mess of emotions, I see strength in the person who you can count on when it's 3am and you have no one to turn to, and I see strength in the giver. The sacrificer. The protector. That's true strength. I don't often see true strength demonstrated by the guy with the biggest muscles or the most money strutting around on TV. True strength is something far greater than that.
"There are two ways of exerting one's strength - one is pulling down, the other is pushing up" - Booker T. Washington
"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, and more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and the spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind" - Alex Karas
About a month and a half ago I re-read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge, and in that book he covers the same topic of true strength. (It's also an overly catchy song by Gloriana that I have stuck in my head as I write this...) I would highly recommend this book to everyone even though it's technically written for guys; the main concept is that true strength is born of adversity, true strength is not just being outwardly, brutishly strong, and true strength is perfectly modeled by God.
How can you be strong if you've never gone through anything difficult? I know in my personal experience, the times I learn the most about life, love, and God is when I'm in a fight, I have a decision to make, or I've been disappointed by something. It's plumb easy to float along in life when you're getting good grades, flourishing at your job, and succeeding at your interpersonal relationships, but take that all away for one reason an another - and how does that change your relationship with God? Those knees that were doing the happy dance in the sunshine of good times get worn out praying at night. You bargain with God like a genie - "God, make him care about me!" "God, help me pass this test!" "God, if you just get me through this, I promise I will..." All it takes is a breakup, a setback at work, or a poor test grade and suddenly, the Guy that you ignored except for a half-hearted hymn-sing on Sunday becomes your be-all-end-all, the Friend from CW 411... until things are good again. Then, it's the same old routine.
"Strength is born in the deep silence of suffering hearts; not amid joy" - Arthur Helps
We get so angry with God when trials come into our lives - "why are You doing this to me?!" But sometimes, though we don't see it at the time, God's just pruning us, shaping us for further ministry that He wants us to do for Him while we're here on earth. Perhaps by giving you trials He's trying to test your faith; after all, He did it all the time in the Old Testament. "Abraham - please murder your only son, okay?" "Noah - build a huge boat you probably don't have money for." "Jonah - time to go to Ninevah!" "Job - your family is going to die, your house is going to be destroyed, and you're going to lose your livelihood - stay strong in the faith, man!" These situations seem irrational. Illogical. Impossible. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (at least according to Friedrich Neitzsche), and God promises He'll never tempt you past what you can bear (I Corinthians 10:13). Moreover, His discipline may not be pleasant at the time, but He is treating you as a beloved son when you face trials of all kinds. (More on that in a future post). On the whole, true strength is born out of adversity.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us" - Romans 5:3-5
"If God sends us on strong paths, He provides us with strong shoes" - Corrie Ten Boom
(I'm upset with myself since I'm trying to discuss too big of a concept to be nailed down or explained entirely in a blog post... sorry that this will a terribly inadequate exam of true strength.)
Anyway, it turns out, being strong means... almost being the opposite of what most of us would think. Strong means being "weak". To be strong, you also need to be... vulnerable.
"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - II Corinthians 12:10
It doesn't make sense that strength should be in anyway tied to "weakness", but it should be said now that vulnerability is nothing like being weak. The boldest example of this is Christ on the cross. Though He is the strongest being in every way that ever existed, He wedged His glory into a vulnerable human form, died to save us... and rose again. The way Jesus gave up His life for us doesn't seem strong if we were to objectively look at the facts on paper. God? Dead? It seems that Jesus was not powerful enough to avoid getting murdered by feeble people. Death is conceding to humanity's curse; to die seems weak. Isn't that the opposite of strong? Moreover, He had emotions! He cried! What a wimp... right? Throughout His life it is recorded that He wept at a friend's grave, laughed, was sarcastic, kissed people, and got angry enough to turn over tables. He was pretty open with how He felt. He was pretty vulnerable. "Aren't people with feelings weaklings? Doesn't strong mean not crying? Holding in all your emotions?"
Far from it.
Our Savior may have been physically weak as a man when He died, but He was in no way a wimp that day on Calvary. He was and remains the strongest Man ever - strong because He was willing to use His power for our benefit instead of His. He was strong enough to be vulnerable.
"True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself." - Henry Miller
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" - Psalm 73:26
I had a great talk last night with my sister about being open with people, and how that seems to be a really hard thing not only for the both of us, but with nearly everyone we've met. To be truly be open with someone means trusting them completely - and that can be a scary thing, especially when you're not sure if you like the things you see inside yourself. It's frightening because really opening up yourself to someone opens up the possibility that you could get hurt - badly. But you'll never know the depth of life's emotion until you can be vulnerable with someone, until you can scream and laugh and cry and be all the colors of your crazy with another person. My man C.S. Lewis says it best:
"To love at all you must be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."
I know I do a pitiful job at being vulnerable a lot of times. Sure, show me a cute engagement photo and I'm putty in your hands, but for other things I've realized that I'm too independent. I don't satisfy people in relationships like I should because I have a hard time showing them what I'm really like, fearing that what they see behind the curtain won't measure up to their expectations of me. I'm too prideful to ask questions and too stubborn to be shown the way- all things that could be cured with a little old-fashioned vulnerability. Asking questions, letting down my guard? That's truly strong.
Being alone instead of running back to sure security and a shoulder to cry on takes strength. Doing the hard thing takes strength. Confronting obstacles as they roll into your life takes strength. Changing and living and trusting? It all takes strength, but it's not sweaty man-strength - it lies in vulnerability. And true strength only comes from the Holy Spirit.
In the end, the only strong thing to cling to that exists to help you overcome every insecurity is Jesus Christ's undying, eternal love and saving work on the cross.
Strongly vulnerable?
Vulnerably strong?
"... the joy of the LORD is your strength" - Nehemiah 8:10
Such a thought provoking post, Katie. I'll share thoughts that I had while reading through it:
ReplyDeleteTo quote a great man: "The weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."
To quote another great man: "I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested. I'd like to think that if I was I would pass." Although there are many ways that I haven't been tested, I'm confident that God has given and will give me the strength to face whatever tests come my way.
From March 5th, 2005 until March 5th, 2009 I never shed a tear. In the past 24 hours I've teared on at least two separate occasions. Was I an infinitely stronger person as a junior in high-school than I am now? I'm not convinced.