Yum! Beef!

Hello! I spent a week in rainy Waco, NE on a TCW trip with three of the best girls you could ever meet and I feel compelled to write about a different kind of "meet"-beef.

Bear with me.


The people we met during our week on those flat, corn-filled plains of Nebraska were awesome (HG especially,) as is always true in my experience with TCW trips. I've been on three now, and each has brought me into contact with truly interesting people I always end up learning from. TN had Janice and Jerry, AZ had Elroy (bless his heart) and Waco, Nebraska had 256 people and a whole high school staff of dedicated teachers to learn from.

As a future teacher, it has just been personally interesting to see different academic settings after a year of education classes as I anticipate getting a call someday where I will have no control over the type of classroom in which I will work. I worked over spring break at St. Marcus, an inner-city Milwaukee school that faces such a high demand that they are doubling the size of their school and hope to have two full classes per grade level in the coming years, which stands in sharp contrast to Trinity Lutheran School in Waco. I forget the exact number, but I want to say there 30 students in grades K-8 in Trinity - quite the difference from St. Marcus.

Nebraska Lutheran High School is also located in Waco, Nebraska, and we hung out a lot with the teachers there last week. I used to think when I attended Wisco that I went to a small high school, but NELHS teachers and students alike were baffled when we talked about the size of Wisco; I think I remember one teacher commenting "they have more teachers there than we have students here!" Again, the number is a little shady in my head, but I'm pretty sure NELHS serves about 70 students.


Could you live in a town of 256 people?


I've been in small towns before and I thought I knew a lot about them, but I realized I knew nothing of small towns until this TCW trip. Waco made New Ulm look like New York! :) There's one restaurant in town called Hunter's , but aside from that the only other businesses in town seemed to be a small hair salon and the post office. Unlike in Wisconsin where I know of train tracks but rarely see trains on them, the tracks in Waco get a LOT of use - a train seems to rumble by ever 5 minutes, honking their horn. Loudly. Even at 3am.

Oh, and there are a few llamas in Waco too.

It was great though. I would really like to live in the country someday, but Waco would be a little too small for me unless I had a family - it would be an excellent place to raise children. Where would they go to get in trouble? The next town over that has 7,000 people and a Walmart? Ooooh, I'm scared of what they'll get into there... not. As a single person, however... not a lot going on. It might work for some people, but I could only live in such a small town long-term if my family was located there.

However, the sense of community was really endearing in Waco, and that's something you definitely lack in a city. Sure, in a city you can still find your niche, meet your own people, discover your personal sense of community through your activities or groups or what have you, but you're still one meager social bubble bouncing around with many other social bubbles and differing communities. You're one of many. You don't know your neighbors. And it's not always safe. But in Waco you always leave your doors unlocked, you can feel free to go over and pick some of Cory's rhubarb to make your special strawberry-rhubarb pie (Thanks again, Lois!!), and can tell where everyone is by where their cars are in town. You stop in the middle of streets, know everyone by name, can recognize when two girls go for a run that they are "strangers" to Waco, and do you know what? I hear you might even meet a girl in Waco, Nebraska...

(please watch that video hahaha... I don't know why but the guy's hat makes me laugh)

We met lots and lots of nice ladies in Nebraska, (based off this trip, I'm inclined to think there are actually ONLY ladies in Nebraska because we very rarely saw menfolk of any kind,) and MAN - CAN THOSE LADIES COOK! This TCW trip almost didn't happen because of a mixup at the Kingdom Workers offices, so the congregation didn't have much notice at all that we were coming - only a day's notice, actually. They did not let this stop their food though, no siree - Bethel Lutheran church came through with a "Tour de Force" of hot dishes, enchiladas, and all manner of amazing home cooked meals for us four all week long. I seriously always gain like 15 pounds on these TCW trips because we're fed so nicely, and this was no exception. Everyone's generosity and hospitality feeding our hungry little mouths for a week was phenomenal and makes me rather sad at the prospect of eating only Camp and Caf food for the majority of the rest of the year (not that either one of those places has bad food... it's just not home cooked, you know?)

One thing we did notice about the food though was that we only ate beef all week. Now, this is NOT a bad thing by ANY means - but sometime around Thursday when we were regaling all the great food we had crammed in our stomachs up until that point, we realized we had not one meal with chicken, pork, or fish - every meal consisted of some kind of beef! Even at Runza's, the only options had beef in them. No other meat. Just beef.

beef.

I mentioned this to my mom once I was home and she said, "Well Katie, what do you expect? On the plains everyone grows corn, then they let the cows EAT the corn, and then the people eat the cows. It's the way of life out there. Duh." To which I responded, "Mom! Geez, when did you get to be such an expert on the Nebraskan agriculture system?" "I just... know things," she said airily as she left the room. "But they don't even have one chicken out there to peck the corn?" I called after her. She just blew me a raspberry from the hallway. (I love my mom, have I ever mentioned that?)

I guess I'm just ignorant, but apparently Nebraskans are known for liking their beef... which we all got hearty helpings of last week. But last week, I also got some hearty helpings of some major spiritual beef.

A lot of us on this TCW trip were feeling troubled by some reason or another, and it was freaking us out. I know I personally haven't been sleeping well the past couple weeks because of strange dreams, and it was not only emotionally frustrating, but spiritually frustrating. I just felt plagued and didn't understand why God wouldn't just hurry up and protect me already - why wasn't this weird bad stuff stopping? Hadn't I prayed about it enough? Didn't He say He would make my life good all the time? Isn't He my Staples "Easy" button? What's the deal, God?

While God CAN do anything, He never said life would be easy. And He definitely is far more than just a quick fix when I'm in a bind, something that the girls on the trip with me really reminded me of again last week. I feel really blessed to have friends I can go to with problems and receive such level-headed spiritual support; I don't know what I would do sometimes without that reminder to turn to God and His loving promises in the Bible.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it"

I Corinthians 10:13

"Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright... surely he will never be shaken... He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting the LORD. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes"

Psalm 112:4,6,7-8

The only real truth lies in the spiritual beef of God's promises.

As we knocked on doors this week, it was both saddening and encouraging to hear people's responses to "do you have a church home?" Some said, "Yep, we're Methodist," and politely shut the door. Others shuffled their feet, shifted their eyes and said, "Well, I should, but..." And worst of all, some said, "Save your literature - church isn't for me." It was saddening to think that perhaps some of these people who shut the door on us were literally shutting the door to heaven on themselves as they chose to ignore God's saving Gospel message, choosing instead to embrace the darkness of unbelief... but it was also encouraging when we ran across people who didn't have a church and seemed receptive to the idea of coming to Bethel. God's Word is powerful and effective, and who knows if all it takes to get someone into heaven is a brochure stuffed in their screen door?

All that time spent walking up driveways gave me time to think, and I was reminded of something MB (who ironically at Camp has given me the nickname "beef" and delights in calling me that ad nauseum)told me as I asked him for advice on whether or not to transfer to MLC. When I asked if he thought transferring was a good idea, he said "Katie, there's one thing needful. I'm not going to tell you to go to one or the other, but there's only one thing important in this world, and I think you know what that is."

"'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better [listening to God's Word], and it will not be taken away from her.'" - Luke 42:41-42

The only thing we need in this world is beef. Not chicken, not pork, not even spiritual fish can take it's place - all we need is the saving message of Christ's life, death, resurrection, and subsequent redemption from hell. That's it. A job, marriage, dreams, travel - those are just things we do to fill up our time on earth as we wait for heaven. Our main goal should be telling as many people about Jesus as we can while we enjoy our time of grace on earth - all else is just superfluous. When you start pulling a Martha and worrying about many things, just remember - there's only one thing needful:

BEEF!

Thank the LORD for Waco, NELHS, and SG, AZ, and KC - they're just the re-focusing I needed before summer starts for real. One week! AHH!! :)

One thing's needful; Lord, this treasure, teach me highly to regard. All else, though it first give pleasure, is a yoke that presses hard. Beneath it the heart is still fretting and striving, no true, lasting happiness ever deriving. This one thing is needful; all others are vain. I count all but loss that I Christ may obtain." - CW 290

Tooxa!

Wearing His Shirt

I can't sleep. This one week of my life that I don't have to be up at 8am every morning I have gotten tons and tons of sleep, at that is why I find myself at 3:30am bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Good thing I'm going on a TCW trip to Nebraska tomorrow otherwise I would have a ANOTHER full WEEK of free time - TOO MUCH REST AND RELAXATION! Idle
hands are the devil's workshop, as they say. That's too true... really, being busy is the best. Keeps your mind off of weird things.

Anywho.

I'm sitting here in my old childhood bedroom, but it's funny because my brother Greg has been living in here for the past two or three years. Instead of the girly purple haven it used to be for me in high school, now it's part storage hovel, part man cave- instead of Orlando Bloom on the wall there's a Sunday ticket poster in its place, instead of perfume lining my dresser there's Oldspice on the desk, and instead of decorative chairs and swoops and poufs, there's gray storage boxes and dumbbells lining the walls.

It's a little chilly so I'm wearing one of his sweatshirts... which is funny because it's so BIG. Greg's like 6'5 and wears everything in XXL sizes, but I really like wearing over sized clothes. I think every girl loves wearing huge, baggy boy's clothes because it makes them hopeful that someday they'll have a husband and can wear his huge, baggy clothes. I hope someday that FH (Future Husband) will lend me lots of his clothes to snuggle around the house in and use as pajamas. It's my sentimental dream that someday, some mornings I can wake up and make him bacon and eggs while wearing his t-shirt, give him a cup of coffee and the newspaper at the breakfast table and kiss him goodbye before he jets off to work.

They say to really know someone you should walk a mile in their shoes, so what happens when you wear their clothes?


It's comforting to have big, baggy boy sweatshirts wrapped around your shoulders, but it's even better when those sweatshirt sleeves have arms in them and they're still wrapped around you.

Whenever you're lonely or tired or hurting or scared and you want those literal (or figurative) strong arms cuddled around you, know that no matter where you are, you have them.

"I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me in garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."

- Isaiah 61:10

No matter where you are or whatever convoluted situation you find yourself in, God has you wrapped in His saving robe of righteousness. He died to cover our sinfulness with the red blanket of His blood, and because of that we get to go to heaven - and all we have to do is believe His promises! Why is that such a hard concept for us to remember? I've had like 15 years of Lutheran instruction in school. I've heard the saving message of the Gospel maybe a million times - "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16). And STILL! Still I doubt and forget His love for me!

Why God doesn't take that sweatshirt of forgiveness away from all of us, I do not know. I would certainly not have patience for me and all my sins... praise the LORD for His warm, comforting, over sized coverall of love!

It's great living life wearing His shirt.

(And guys, if you really want to make your girl go nuts for you - lend her a sweatshirt. Believe me. It works :)

"You are all Sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus"

- Galatians 3:26-28

Strongly Vulnerable

Sorry I haven't written. The end of the semester was really crazy, filled with literally hundreds of chicken McNuggets, waterfalls, frogs, scabs, exams, late nights talking about Star Wars, softball, hugs and tears and packing and talks... and even with a little bit of studying wedged in there, the chaos didn't leave a lot of time for self-reflection or blogging. But now that I'm home again, my former frantic pace has slowed somewhat. There's less distraction and more clear thoughts, and lately I've been thinking a lot about the contrasts between strength and vulnerability.

Like a previous post where I contrasted kindness and niceness, strength and vulnerability seem to be characteristics cut from the same cloth even though at first glance they appear in opposition. Aren't they total opposites? Light and dark? Princes and frogs? Hot and cold? Isn't strength - whatever variety in comes in, emotional, financial, spiritual or otherwise - preferable to "wimpy" vulnerability? To be vulnerable is to be weak, and that's bad, right? RIGHT?

A few weeks ago especially I was thinking about strength and what it means to be a truly strong person - it's not something I ever consciously made an effort to think about, so it was interesting what I came to realize after searching around a little bit.

When I think of the word "strong", I think immediately of Schwartzenegger-level biceps. Power suits adorned with Armani ties in a paneled board room. Sawyer from LOST holding a gun at an Other with a dagger-filled glare. A gladiator. Muhammed Ali boxing and boasting. (Thanks NW). Power tools. Rocks and boulders. The first thing I think of when I think of strength is brute force.

But force can't be true strength, because when I think about it more, what comes to mind when I think of strength? The more I think about it, I think about AZ's faith and how she shares it with me in addition to living it in her daily life. I think of my mom smiling as she put her wig on because she was bald from the cancer. I think of my dad going to work every day to provide us with the life we lead. I see strength in a friend who's willing to talk it out with me when I'm a mess of emotions, I see strength in the person who you can count on when it's 3am and you have no one to turn to, and I see strength in the giver. The sacrificer. The protector. That's true strength. I don't often see true strength demonstrated by the guy with the biggest muscles or the most money strutting around on TV. True strength is something far greater than that.

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength - one is pulling down, the other is pushing up" - Booker T. Washington

"It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, and more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and the spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind" - Alex Karas

About a month and a half ago I re-read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge, and in that book he covers the same topic of true strength. (It's also an overly catchy song by Gloriana that I have stuck in my head as I write this...) I would highly recommend this book to everyone even though it's technically written for guys; the main concept is that true strength is born of adversity, true strength is not just being outwardly, brutishly strong, and true strength is perfectly modeled by God.

How can you be strong if you've never gone through anything difficult? I know in my personal experience, the times I learn the most about life, love, and God is when I'm in a fight, I have a decision to make, or I've been disappointed by something. It's plumb easy to float along in life when you're getting good grades, flourishing at your job, and succeeding at your interpersonal relationships, but take that all away for one reason an another - and how does that change your relationship with God? Those knees that were doing the happy dance in the sunshine of good times get worn out praying at night. You bargain with God like a genie - "God, make him care about me!" "God, help me pass this test!" "God, if you just get me through this, I promise I will..." All it takes is a breakup, a setback at work, or a poor test grade and suddenly, the Guy that you ignored except for a half-hearted hymn-sing on Sunday becomes your be-all-end-all, the Friend from CW 411... until things are good again. Then, it's the same old routine.

"Strength is born in the deep silence of suffering hearts; not amid joy" - Arthur Helps

We get so angry with God when trials come into our lives - "why are You doing this to me?!" But sometimes, though we don't see it at the time, God's just pruning us, shaping us for further ministry that He wants us to do for Him while we're here on earth. Perhaps by giving you trials He's trying to test your faith; after all, He did it all the time in the Old Testament. "Abraham - please murder your only son, okay?" "Noah - build a huge boat you probably don't have money for." "Jonah - time to go to Ninevah!" "Job - your family is going to die, your house is going to be destroyed, and you're going to lose your livelihood - stay strong in the faith, man!" These situations seem irrational. Illogical. Impossible. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (at least according to Friedrich Neitzsche), and God promises He'll never tempt you past what you can bear (I Corinthians 10:13). Moreover, His discipline may not be pleasant at the time, but He is treating you as a beloved son when you face trials of all kinds. (More on that in a future post). On the whole, true strength is born out of adversity.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us" - Romans 5:3-5

"If God sends us on strong paths, He provides us with strong shoes" - Corrie Ten Boom

(I'm upset with myself since I'm trying to discuss too big of a concept to be nailed down or explained entirely in a blog post... sorry that this will a terribly inadequate exam of true strength.)

Anyway, it turns out, being strong means... almost being the opposite of what most of us would think. Strong means being "weak". To be strong, you also need to be... vulnerable.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - II Corinthians 12:10

It doesn't make sense that strength should be in anyway tied to "weakness", but it should be said now that vulnerability is nothing like being weak. The boldest example of this is Christ on the cross. Though He is the strongest being in every way that ever existed, He wedged His glory into a vulnerable human form, died to save us... and rose again. The way Jesus gave up His life for us doesn't seem strong if we were to objectively look at the facts on paper. God? Dead? It seems that Jesus was not powerful enough to avoid getting murdered by feeble people. Death is conceding to humanity's curse; to die seems weak. Isn't that the opposite of strong? Moreover, He had emotions! He cried! What a wimp... right? Throughout His life it is recorded that He wept at a friend's grave, laughed, was sarcastic, kissed people, and got angry enough to turn over tables. He was pretty open with how He felt. He was pretty vulnerable. "Aren't people with feelings weaklings? Doesn't strong mean not crying? Holding in all your emotions?"

Far from it.

Our Savior may have been physically weak as a man when He died, but He was in no way a wimp that day on Calvary. He was and remains the strongest Man ever - strong because He was willing to use His power for our benefit instead of His. He was strong enough to be vulnerable.

"True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself." - Henry Miller

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" - Psalm 73:26

I had a great talk last night with my sister about being open with people, and how that seems to be a really hard thing not only for the both of us, but with nearly everyone we've met. To be truly be open with someone means trusting them completely - and that can be a scary thing, especially when you're not sure if you like the things you see inside yourself. It's frightening because really opening up yourself to someone opens up the possibility that you could get hurt - badly. But you'll never know the depth of life's emotion until you can be vulnerable with someone, until you can scream and laugh and cry and be all the colors of your crazy with another person. My man C.S. Lewis says it best:

"To love at all you must be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

I know I do a pitiful job at being vulnerable a lot of times. Sure, show me a cute engagement photo and I'm putty in your hands, but for other things I've realized that I'm too independent. I don't satisfy people in relationships like I should because I have a hard time showing them what I'm really like, fearing that what they see behind the curtain won't measure up to their expectations of me. I'm too prideful to ask questions and too stubborn to be shown the way- all things that could be cured with a little old-fashioned vulnerability. Asking questions, letting down my guard? That's truly strong.

Being alone instead of running back to sure security and a shoulder to cry on takes strength. Doing the hard thing takes strength. Confronting obstacles as they roll into your life takes strength. Changing and living and trusting? It all takes strength, but it's not sweaty man-strength - it lies in vulnerability. And true strength only comes from the Holy Spirit.

In the end, the only strong thing to cling to that exists to help you overcome every insecurity is Jesus Christ's undying, eternal love and saving work on the cross.

Strongly vulnerable?

Vulnerably strong?

"... the joy of the LORD is your strength" - Nehemiah 8:10